There are days where I wonder why I'm even here.
I need a good cry, but I just can't make the tears come.
I wish I knew where my feelings where, there aren't where I left them last.
I'm 26 days away from 18. I'm not even an adult, but I swear, the weight of my life is just dragging my down. I miss my mom and my sisters. I miss Ian, all the time. I'm talking to other guys, and it's just making me feel worse. Hannah's gone all week. She keeps me grounded, so I think my head is going to be up in the clouds until she comes back.
I work too much. I need a break.
I've decided to start writing again. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm carrying some anxiety about it as well. We'll see what happens.
Ian and I are done. For good. Shit happens, I guess.
Lauren's really rad. I can see her becoming a good friend of mine.
Jimmy's on my nerves, but what else is new? I think it just confirms that in my make shift family, he's my big brother. He's annoying and is mean to me and beats me up. But at the same time, he genuinely cares about me. I think that sums up a big brother.
That's about it.
I'm excited for summer.
in my body is killing me. I'm in excruciating pain.
and I'm completely okay with it :)
What an excellent start to my spring break.
I miss Ian.
I miss Morgan.
I miss Stephany.
I'm ready for work again.
Good day off.
/;
Ugh.
and all I can think about is my name on your lips, hot against my ear, crawling down my neck and into my heart.
Today is the start of Spring Break! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! I get this cracked out smile on my face every time I think about how much SLEEP I'm going to get this week! I'm so stoked! Woooot!
anyway :) I'm not making any money. Poop. I've got too many bills to pay and not enough money. I hate this!
Other than that though, everything is okay. First week actually putting forth an effort in my classes has gone fairly well. At least in my a.p. classes. I don't give a crap about Lit. Oh well.
I'm stoked for this summer. I'm even more stoked to start college. I'm wondering if I'm gonna take a semester off or not to try and think about what it is specifically I want to to do. I mean, I have a plan, I just want to make sure it's what I want for my life. I don't wanna have the same problems Lys is having 2 semesters in, you know?
I guess that's it. Hey! New YYY's album is so good :) Listen to it!
I'll update another time this week, but now it's back to my spring break! :>
Why is it that I never feel quite good enough?
You're the Indian in the cougar's nest.
